Esteban and I have been trying to have kids for a long time. We have been married for 3 1/2 years and have been trying to get pregnant for. . . 3 1/2 years. Luckily we always knew that adoption was an option for us and we know now that this is our time. We were blessed that Paul, my boss, approached me and said that he felt he was supposed to talk about adoption with me. I don't know how he knew, but he got us in touch with an organization named Hand in Hand that helps with adoptions.
Being a planner and organizer, I jumped in with both feet and we have finished the paperwork in two months that they said usually take 4-5. We have gone through countless doctor's appointments, blood tests, DMV appointments, CPR, First Aid, 100 pages of paperwork, and more. However, it wasn't until yesterday, the end of our trainings, that we really understood with our hearts what the process will be like. I know that it is hard to comprehend, so I wanted my friends and family to be able to read this so that they know how to support us.
The only way we can afford to adopt is through fost adopt. This means that the kids who come to us are kids that CPS have taken away from their parents - they are not kids that the parents chose to give to adoption. Laws are written to support the birth parents. This means that they will do everything in their power to return the kids to their birth parents or families. It is considered a failure in the eyes of the system if we adopt a child. This is difficult. We knew that there was a chance they would take the children back, but knowing that us adopting is the law's last choice was hard.
What it also means is that there are 18 months from the moment that the child is taken away until the courts have to decide whether or not kids will be returned to their birth parents or not (not counting appeals). It also means that by the time that courts decide to take away the kid, the child is probably older than an infant. We really want a baby, which means that we will start taking care of the child earlier in the process. It also means that there is a much higher risk that the child will be returned to the birth parents (about 60%).
We have to be ready for a child to come into our home at a moment's notice, not being prepared for the gender or exact age of the child that comes in. We may have multiple children come in and out of our home that we may only get a short time to love on. One of those children, someday, will get to stay with us for life. We will not know which kid it is when they come into our home. We won't know until the adoption is final. We will love on each kid as if they are our own - one of them will be. Until an adoption is final, we cannot change their names and will be bringing them for visitations with their parents.
We ask that you join us on this wild ride. Welcome each kid and love on them. Invest in their lives. But know that we may not be able to raise this child forever. This loss WILL probably happen. But, as hard as it is for us, realize that it is much much harder for the children. We are thankful that we are able to make a difference for whatever children are brought are way and are excited that one day, we will have children for life.
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