Friday, November 30, 2012

Roller Coaster

On Wednesday, we got a call from a birth mother.  I was sitting in a CPR class (of course the only time that I don't have my paperwork describing what to discuss) and my phone rang.  I looked down and thought, "I don't know that number; I won't answer."  Then I realized that I didn't know the number!!  I stepped outside and it was an incredible girl who is trying to make the best choice for her future child.  She is 6-8 weeks along and said she was committed to the idea of adoption.  Thursday morning, I left a message for the agency to tell them about the call but was so excited about becoming a parent.  Thursday morning, she called me again to talk.  She asked us to go to the doctor's appointments with her.  She told us that she looked through tons of profiles and that we just seemed like the kind of family she wished she had grown up in.  It was almost too good to be true.

Then, the agency called her.  She said she was out shopping and couldn't talk, but would call later.  They called me today to tell me that they left several messages for her, but that she hasn't returned them.  Policy is that, at this point, they stop calling.  They don't want to pressure her into adoption.  They said that sometimes this happens when it is so early on in the pregnancy and that sometimes the birth mother pops up again a few months later, but that it is not a match at this point.  I tried so hard not to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it.  I'm just so sad.  I know we haven't waited long at all in their adoption process, but we have been trying to get pregnant for 4.5 years and been pursuing adoption for 11 months.  I just want to be a parent.  Please pray for peace and patience for me.  I am really struggling right now.  The rain and gloom outside really fits today.

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